Letters you would never write - Chapter 1

To my Dearest Friend whose Name is Unknown,

Yesterday I woke out of bed to find my neck hurting. It must have been me waking up on the wrong side of the bed --

(How was I to know that it was the wrong side of the bed? Even if I had woke up on the right side of the bed, I would still have my neck hurting. But if it really was the right side, how could it have hurt? Afterall it was the correct side of the bed that I woke up on, unless I meant that it was the 'right' side, in which the opposite would mean the left side. Therefore in order to avoid any pains of the neck, we could simply sleep still, and not sleep onto any sides. But I suppose it was a fact that we turn in our sleeps, and we do not simply remain at the same spot (middle) of the bed, unless we suffered a case of rigor mortis, which would mean we were dead. If we did suffer a case of rigor mortis when we were asleep though, that would mean that we would not get up on any side of the bed, which would mean that the possibility of getting up on the wrong side of the bed and having the neck hurt would be reduced to zero! Upon heavier considerations though, it would be an impossibility to wake up dead, or in other words, wake up while already dead. That would mean that we have to take a risk of getting out of bed on the right - I mean, correct - side of the bed. It should be necessary that we do together a calculation of how many times we take these risks.

Supposedly I lived to a ripe old age of exactly 70 and slept every day of the year, I would be sleeping a grand total of:

70
x365
____

25550

That would mean that we would be taking 25550 risks of waking up on the wrong side of the bed! That is simply unacceptable, for taking too many risks in life simply does not pay of, my Friend whose Name is Unknown) -- I was glad though when I found your baskets of flower lying outside my door. Thanks for the gift!

Love,
Jonathan