Numb

I'm done for the day.

I've returned.

I'm back.

I'm tired!

Well for starters I was asked to sight-read Schumann's Piano Concerto has an orchestral pianist so that the rest can get a feel of it. I managed to get the structure of it right, although 1/3 or more of the notes were wrong. I was extremely disappointed not to have been able to apply what I've learnt - hand pedalling, voice leading...


15th March Saturday________________________________________________________________
And today I'm blogging for Saturday.

Early in the morning I woke up to the sound of my mum asking if I was going to miss theory class with Dr Edwards. Of course I wasn't - I've been waiting for this day for a week to test out my composition. But anyway I used 45 minutes in the morning to figure out the progression for TWO bars nearing the end of the piece.

Not really effecient, but I managed to sort out the final part. Unfortunately this made me 7 minutes late for theory class - I ran from the Kent Ridge Bus Stop all the way to Sem Room 7. Luckily, Dr Edwards had yet to arrive.

He was having Composition auditions...so I was early!

Ok anyway so I was asked to play my composition first. After I finished the three page work we all went through a pretty detailed analysis of my composition. I realised most of the things that were pointed out were coincedentally nicely in place - I didn't plan them or anything. Maybe it was subconscious. Only the 'sets in two' were planned.

Dr Edwards pointed out two opposite ends of the compositional spectrum - Continuity and Variety, or otherwise known as Coherence and Interest respectively. I guess the key is to hover around the middle of the spectrum - keeping a level of coherence and continuity, while also trying to provide variety and keep the listener interest.

It's like how I told my RE teammates about conventionality and originality. After me was Zhu En, and then Andrea and Aidi. Andrea did about 8 too (like me), and it was really great to see my counterparts' compositions. I agreed with Dr Edward's point about it looking easy, but when it came to playing...it was really difficult. But anyway I think experience does matter - learning and adding new techniques and new colours to your compositional arsenal allows for more ideas and also development of the composition.

And later that day the Conservatory was holding auditions for people coming into it next year...anyway the Ensemble rooms were used for warming up. A couple of dads peering into Ensemble room 4 (I was practising there) but heck. I was once like that too - I mean the warming up part!

Went to eat Mcdonalds at the Engineering Block with Sue Yi, Wasin, and Akkra soon after. Akkra spammed chilli sauce on the small plastic plate so much so that the whole thing spilled over simultaenously and formed a nice circle shape that looked like a red blood cell...And Wasin was eating his McWings and making noises like 'mmm...' and 'ahhhh...' and 'oooohhh...' Prizes for guessing he was eating McWings.

Attempted to copy him at the Chocolate Sundae I got for $1.50, but he said I was too fake - heck I ENJOYED the sundae more than his wings. I still win Wasin! :P Ok just kidding we must be respectful to our seniors. When we went back to the Conservatory though, we had lots of fun. Well, Akkra and I, that is. We were acting as singer and accompanist going for audition with an invisible auditioner. I started shrieking and screaming and Akkra started to forget his notes, and we laughed lots. Like Akkra improvising 'Mary had a little lamb' and 'Mary has no animals'. Hey at least we got away with something to learn ok!

Failed to convince my mum to let me go for the cello concert though by Ralph Kirshbaum. Lots of people were saying it was going to be good, but unfortunately I couldn't go...

But I did start to copy the Elaborations on another piece of manuscript.


16th March Sunday________________________________________
This is for Sunday, that is today.

Yesterday night I had a very cool dream and a frightening bodily experience.

We'll start with the physical experience. Somewhere in the middle of night, my entire body suffered paralysis and I was unable to gain control of my arms and legs. Something we all call, numbness. So it was as if I had pins and needles everywhere. My ears experienced an increasing loud sound, much like thunder. It climaxed to a boom that was extremely loud. My head started to tilt towards the left, and I had totally no control of my neck muscles.

So it was like me lying on the bed, entirely paralyzed, and my ears hearing an increasing crashing sound, while my head involuntarily tilting towards the left. While all this happened though I was trying my best to be conscious of my own movements and actions, but it entirely fail through - it was obvious I had no control.

Immediately after it stopped I quickly tried to massage my arms but it happened again. First was the numbness that set in into my torso, legs, and arms and hands. Then after that the booming sound in my ears. It sounded like a fighter jet engine - right beside my ears. And then my head started tilting left again.

All this really happened, and I shall take note of my sleeping position at night again.

In my dream however, I was able to stop and control time - much like the Heroes character Hiro. Anyway by regulating my heartbeat I was able to control the time around me. In this case I was in a 100m-sprint. At the start of the race I breathed so slowly and felt so conscious of my heartbeat that everything around me started to slow down. And then I started running to the end. And then at some point of time I was in New York trying to steal an item, by I remembered clearly being surrounded by the police. They started shooting bullets at me, and I closed my eyes and started being aware of my own heartbeat. The bullets did stop right in front of me, but I couldn't move at all.

And that was when I panicked and told myself that if my heartbeat started going right up the bullets would go straight into me and I would die. However I just couldn't move - and maybe that was when the paralysis hit me. I'm not sure which one came first. Maybe they both intertwined - scary enough though.

Morning came, and I went for my jabs at the Ang Mo Kio clinic I visited earlier this week with my cousins. Younger cousin Nigel told even younger cousin-brother Julian that it was going to hurt a lot, and he had to take 6 jabs. -.- Now that's mind-numbing.

Anyway I managed to suppress the fear emotion - probably because of the many performances I had been in and the nervousness I had felt - didn't feel frightened at all. And it seriously was an ant-bite. The pain came AFTER the ant-bite though. My arm started to go numb, but it's much better than thinking about the injection. After massaging it though the pain lessened throughout the day and it's clearly much better now.

Shall finish copying and editing the Elaborations, and they'll be up pretty soon!