As I sat in front of my computer doing Math homework today (and reading The Importance of Being Earnest), the faulty doorbell rang several times, the main reason being it was faulty.
Anyway for all the times it rang the door was rarely opened, because my mum has always been paranoid about intruders and 'magicians'.
About 'magicians', I'm not really sure who they are, because I have only heard from her past experiences that these people come to your door and then - as she always says, "come and magick you ah I tell you".
Followed by something about them making you give them all your money without you even knowing, and when you wake up (after being unconscious), you will find your savings and all your hard-earned money gone. Pardon me, I've never heard of any such case of non-contact assault. But anyway with the recent spate of house robberies by forced entry, I believe this paranoia is reasonable.
But honestly, I feel this paranoia has absolutely no connection to the spates of attacks that have been present here in our relatively low-crime country of Singapore. That is because even before these attacks have had any significant spike, she has been refusing to open doors. This has caused her to nearly miss some of the postman's mail, like the one that had a video tape of me playing the triangle with some of my music friends and an Australian man acting as Mr Whiskers at VCH more than 5 years ago.
Yesterday the doorbell rang (again!) but well because my mum was on the phone she hurried to open the door thinking it was the postman. The simple reason being?
The man knocked so hard on the door it had got to be the postman.
And she hurried to open the door, only to find out it was a salesman (oh no, it's a bad guy) and then proceeded to apply her entire body frame upon the door, which had a pretty strong resistance and had a terribly heavy weight. Regardless of the weight of the door, she managed to produce such a huge 'bang' that I'm sure she had commited non-contact assault, causing the salesman to collaspe upon the floor. But it didn't happen (at least when I looked at the corridor outside later).
In any case I thought it was utterly rude but did not proceed to give my mum a piece of my mind as she wouldn't be bothered to give me 2 cents. Not just that but I thought she had her reasons for doing that, though I was sure that the salesman had a terrible shock.
Imagine if you were that salesman...
(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK)
(Door opens)
Salesman: (Oh yes I got a customer so quickly!) - [That's because I live on the top floor and salesmen always start from the top. Hope I don't have to explain why!]
Mum: (Opens door for 2 seconds)
Salesman: Good evening mehderm-
Mum: :O (Slams door)
Salesman: (faints)/kcuf!
A dose of Singaporean realism for you!
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